Going Blue

a short play

by Jeffrey Wolf

1054937440_336f1896c4_b
Photo by David Keyzer via Flickr. Creative Commons: Some rights reserved.

Cast

Morgan

Mindy

Blue Fairy

                                             

Setting:

A bedroom, late at night/early in the morning.

 

(At rise MORGAN and MINDY are in bed. MINDY is sleeping. MORGAN is awake and keeps lifting his covers to look underneath.)

 

MORGAN:

Honey?

MINDY:

(Barely stirring:)

Nhmm.

MORGAN:

Honey, wake up.

MINDY:

Sleeping.

MORGAN:

No – I – need your help.

MINDY:

With what? Can’t it wait until morning?

MORGAN:

I – um – I’m not going down.

MINDY:

Huh?

MORGAN:

I’m still – erect.

MINDY:

Seriously?

MORGAN:

Yeah. It’s –

MINDY:

You woke me up for that?

MORGAN:

It’s been a long time.

MINDY:

You’re insatiable. It’s been like – four hours.

MORGAN:

No – it’s –

MINDY:

I got you off twice. I guess I can just lay here if you need to go again.

MORGAN:

I know – it’s not –

MINDY:

I already brushed my teeth so I’m not –

MORGAN:

Mindy, I don’t think that’s the problem.

MINDY:

What do you mean?

MORGAN:

I don’t think I actually need to –

MINDY:

Fuck?

MORGAN:

Well, yes.

MINDY:

You’re still so cute, Morgan. It’s three a.m. and I can still make you blush. I guess I can brush my teeth again.

MORGAN:

No – wait –

MINDY:

You want me to get the whipped cream? I don’t want that much sugar this late –

MORGAN:

No – I think I’m actually – empty.

MINDY:

Huh?

MORGAN:

I’m all – shriveled up – at that part.

MINDY:

Really? (She reaches under the covers.) Wow – you are. Then why are you hard? Wow – you’re really hard. You didn’t take one of those blue pills, did you?

MORGAN:

No. You know I don’t need –

MINDY:

Believe me, I know. I can walk into a room in sweats and you’re on fire.

MORGAN:

You’re pretty.

MINDY:

Thank you, sweetheart.

Did Evan secretly drug you?

MORGAN:

No. I don’t think so. You know I don’t like to put any foreign things in my body.

MINDY:

No, just into my body.

MORGAN:

Can we stay focused?

MINDY:

Who can focus at this time of night?

MORGAN:

Mindy, please?

MINDY:

How long have you been like this?

MORGAN:

I think like six hours.

MINDY:

No wonder you were ready to go right when you got home tonight.

MORGAN:

I thought it might make it go away. And there’s something else.

MINDY:

What?

MORGAN:

It’s a different color.

MINDY:

Say that again.

MORGAN:

And I think it’s – glowing.

MINDY:

Seriously? (MINDY puts her head under the covers.) Wow! That’s amazing! It’s like a bug zapper. Or a lightsaber. You’re like a Jedi master.

MORGAN:

It’s really freaking me out.

MINDY:

(Under the covers:)

No wonder you handed me the blindfold just after you threw me on the bed.

MORGAN:

I didn’t want to scare you.

MINDY:

(Under the covers:)

It doesn’t feel any different.

MORGAN:

Wh – what are you –

MINDY:

(Under the covers:)

I wanted to see if it tasted different.

MORGAN:

Oh. You surprised me. So – does it?

MINDY:

(Under the covers:)

No. (A beat.) It’s hypnotic.

MORGAN:

Honey –

MINDY:

(Under the covers:)

I feel like I could stare at this for days.

MORGAN:

Mindy – can you come back out?

MINDY:

(Under the covers:)

What? (MINDY comes out from under the covers.) Oh sure. That’s so incredible.

MORGAN:

Yet terrifying.

MINDY:

It’ll be OK, Morgan. Maybe we can take you on tour.

MORGAN:

Tour? Like a circus show?

MINDY:

I’m just teasing, babe. Does it hurt?

MORGAN:

It doesn’t really feel any different at all. I just want it to go back to normal.

MINDY:

Is your pee blue, too?

MORGAN:

Not that I’ve noticed.

MINDY:

You really don’t know how this happened?

MORGAN:

I feel like I would have lead with that. It is starting to get a little uncomfortable. I’m a little lightheaded.

MINDY:

I’ll get you some water.

MORGAN:

Don’t take the blankets.

MINDY:

But I’m cold.

MORGAN:

I don’t want to –

MINDY:

What? Expose it to the air?

MORGAN:

It’s embarrassing.

MINDY:

Use a pillow.

MORGAN:

Fine.

MINDY:

Here’s your water.

MORGAN:

Thank you.

MINDY:

Did that help at all?

MORGAN:

A little. It still feels – weird.

MINDY:

Kind of like when I had my clit pierced.

MORGAN:

Your what?

MINDY:

I was a teenager. It was so distracting that I took it out in under a week.

MORGAN:

Did it hurt?

MINDY:

You have no idea. The only thing that made it worth it was the non-stop orgasms.

MORGAN:

That would –

MINDY:

I could be walking down some stairs and boom. So intense. But now I have you, so I don’t need that.

MORGAN:

I – uh – try to please.

MINDY:

You succeed. (A beat. MINDY looks under the covers again.) I can’t believe it’s blue.

MORGAN:

(Looking under the covers:)

It looks like I fell into some paint.

MINDY:

Neon paint.

MORGAN:

Glow-in-the-dark neon paint.

MINDY:

And nothing strange happened to you today?

MORGAN:

There was one thing.

MINDY:

A bucket of blue paint?

MORGAN:

I – uh – think I met a leprechaun.

MINDY:

A what?

MORGAN:

I couldn’t really understand him. He talked so fast. But he looked the part.

MINDY:

Was it just some guy in a costume?

MORGAN:

He was only about a foot tall and had the bowler hat.

MINDY:

A beard too?

MORGAN:

Yeah. And nice vest.

MINDY:

Are you sure you didn’t take any pills? Eat some mushrooms?

MORGAN:

No – this really happened. He charged into my office and started yelling at me. He had this incredibly squeaky voice and talked really fast. It was like gibberish. I couldn’t figure out what he wanted and so he shook his fist at me and left.

MINDY:

Why didn’t you mention this earlier?

MORGAN:

We were – busy.

MINDY:

You were ravishing me as I lay blindfolded while you tried to get rid of your unending erection.

MORGAN:

And then you were tired.

MINDY:

Wouldn’t you be? You think he did this to you?

MORGAN:

Maybe?

MINDY:

Wouldn’t it be green instead of blue?

MORGAN:

That’s where you’re stuck?

MINDY:

I’m just saying.

(The glow under the covers gets brighter.)

MORGAN:

Oh! Oh!

MINDY:

What’s going on?

MORGAN:

I think – something’s coming!

MINDY:

You?

MORGAN:

Apparently.

(A BLUE FAIRY crawls out from under the sheets.)

MINDY:

Holy shit!

BLUE FAIRY:

Thank you for harboring me in this time of need.

MORGAN:

Harboring you?

BLUE FAIRY:

The leprechauns hunt fairies like myself for food, so I needed a place to hide.

MINDY:

You look like a blueberry with wings.

MORGAN:

Don’t be rude, Mindy.

MINDY:

Maybe a plum?

MORGAN:

So you hid in my –

MINDY:

Dick.

BLUE FAIRY:

I needed a warm and lovely cocoon. Thank you again for your hospitality.

MORGAN:

You’re welcome?

MINDY:

Did you leave anything behind?

MORGAN:

I hope not.

MINDY:

So what now?

BLUE FAIRY:

I leave you. But not before delivering a blessing upon you both.

MINDY:

Thanks?

BLUE FAIRY:

You are welcome. Thank you again. Farewell!

(BLUE FAIRY exits.)

MORGAN:

That was so weird.

MINDY:

I’m still trying to figure out if this is an acid trip.

MORGAN:

That would make more sense.

MINDY:

What blessing do you think she meant?

MORGAN:

I have no idea.

MINDY:

I – do you think I’m pregnant?

MORGAN:

Really? We’ve tried so hard –

MINDY:

Maybe, honey. Maybe it finally happened.

MORGAN:

Then that truly is a blessing.

(They embrace.)

MINDY:

I wonder if the baby will be blue.

(Blackout.)

Jeffrey Wolf (Playwright): In addition to authoring the short play, The Scientific Study of Human Comprehension; he recently received a staged reading of Shakespeare’s Curse by One Night Stand Theatre at The Vintage Theatre in March 2016. Shakespeare’s Curse also enjoyed a workshop with playwright Matthew Lopez at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts’ Colorado New Play Summit in February 2015. Jeffrey is also the writer of the children’s play, The Worst Play in the History of Ever, being produced by the Center for the Arts in Homer, New York, part of the Chameleon Theatre Circle’s 14th Annual New Play Festival in Minnesota in 2013 and the 2013 Ronald M. Ruble New Play Festival at Caryl Crane Youth Theatre in Ohio; Memories of Lost Time, (winner of 2012 Firehouse Theatre Project’s annual new play festival and part of The Edge Theatre’s “On Your Feet” series); the award-winning Slipping into Anarchy (performed in Colorado, New York, England, Los Angeles, Ohio, Rhode Island, and chosen for production in Romania); Starters (Denver Repertory Theatre Company 2005 production); and No Ideas Today (2012 North Park Playwright Festival in San Diego). (jeffreywolfplays.com)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s